And so he asked.

So we’d picked out, and purchased a ring.

At this point we were laughing at ourselves.  We’d had a long, serious talk about finances and then threw all logic aside and purchased a ring.

Once we owned the ring, next up was the question of when would he propose?!  I’m laughing as I look back on how we were behaving in these moments – love struck teenagers walking around wearing giddy smiles.  I wore the ring around as we shopped for his camping trip, and swooned.

We later went to dinner, and Mr. PC told me he was going to propose at dinner.  He was nervous and didn’t want to wait any longer.  He was so nervous that I was nervous for him.

While we waited for our dinner, Mr. PC took a deep breath.  He hadn’t planned on proposing that day, but life happens, and in the moment he told me his favorite things about me, about us, and about our life together.  He reminded me why we make a great team, and how lucky we are to enjoy each other’s company as well as being such great friends.  He finished with the age old question, “Will you marry me?”

And I said, “Of course I will!”

With that, he slipped the ring on my finger.

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This ring is a white sapphire set in white gold, and beyond that, we have no idea of the specifications.  If you’re considering a white sapphire for your engagement ring, my chief complaint with this stone is that it gets super cloudy and dull looking when it’s dirty.

A few months later, Mr. PC and I decided to upgrade my ring.

 

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Getting Engaged

Despite the forks in the road, and the otherwise bumpy paths that collided and are now the relationship Mr. Prince Charming and I are treading, neither of us flinched when asked about marriage, even in the beginning.

Sure, months into the relationship the last thing we were thinking about was molding our two lives into one.  We were dating!  It was fun!  When it was the two of us, we were able to ignore the glaring bits of life that we managed outside of our relationship.  I imagine it’s similar for many people when they begin a significant relationship – being in the presence of that person is the bright spot in your days.

Maybe it’s because we’re older.  Maybe it’s because we fell into a very comfortable stride early in our relationship.  Maybe it’s because we adore each other.  Whatever it is, the people around us noticed.  Even those who didn’t truly know us, knew well enough that we’d found a really happy situation.  The questions about our future plans popped up early and often.  We didn’t necessarily brush them off, but we both knew the answer – we’d get there.  We’d get married..on our terms, in our time.

On July 12, 2015, at first wake, Mr. Prince Charming groggily said, “I know we can’t afford it, but what if I got you a less expensive ring right now so that the world knows you’re mine?”  I’m laughing even still as I write this months later – Mr. PC is not a morning person.  Coherent thoughts evade this man until much later in the morning when he’s had a chance to face the day, so I was not only caught off guard, but entertained that this was his first thought of the day.

On that day, we were facing a new challenge – he was to be gone from home for an entire week with very limited access to technology.  He would only be a few miles from where we live, but for that week we would have limited conversations.  That week was significant to Mr. PC.  It was the first time he would be forced to be away from me because of a force in his life (we’d spent time apart before, but because of my work and family).  I ascertain that his outpouring of feelings that day had a lot to do with the fact that this was the first time he was pulled from me because of decisions he made – and those emotions were a lot for him to face.

One facet of Mr. PC’s personality that I’ve always adored is the way he makes decisions.  He doesn’t always agree with me, and being that I’m a decision maker and problem solver by trade, I tend to decide at rapid speed.  I can discern pro’s and con’s quite quickly.  He’s not always ready to move at my pace.  Because of that, when he does make decisions, I make sure to note them and appreciate his input.  So, when he woke up that morning and immediately started talking about the tangible assets of our engagement, I remember thinking, “Oh, he’s decided it’s time.  So, it’s time.”

We talked about a “stand-in” ring for a lot of the day.  Weighing the merits of spending money on a ring that would ultimately not be worn all the time.  Because our financial situation at the time was precarious, I told him my initial thought was to put off a formal engagement until we could afford the ring I would wear indefinitely.  He reluctantly agreed with the logic.

That evening we had to run some errands to finish preparing him for the upcoming week.  Our shopping list included things like a lantern and a tarp – he would be camping for the week with a group of kids.

At this point we’d never gone ring shopping, and hardly discussed what exactly we had in mind for the ring I would wear that would symbolize our commitment.   So, while we were out, we browsed.  As we looked at the rings, I noticed that we were drawn to similar rings.  I think this is a testament to Mr. PC’s awareness – he could care less about jewelry.  But he’d paid enough attention to me and picked up on my preferences over time that he knew which pieces would get my attention.

While we browsed, we saw a ring that we loved.  You see where I’m headed with this?

It was a ring we agreed we could afford that day, so Mr. PC bought it.

Wedding Planning is Weird

I haven’t left you out of my whirlwind life cycle – I’ve been around the block.  This isn’t my first rodeo.

The girl I was when I planned a wedding for the first time is most definitely not the woman I am today.

My first wedding was a major production with every little detail planned to minutia.  It was a beautiful celebration that left me feeling off – like I was watching my life from the outside.  There were 250 invitations, a cathedral veil, a 5-tier cake, and a favor for every guest.  It was all of the things that books, people, and the internet told me it should be.  It was exhausting.  I remember feeling defeated that day – I was surrounded by a mountain of things that just didn’t feel good.  It should’ve felt good.

Fast forward three years.

Then there’s the wedding  that was planned, but never realized.  It was going to be the wedding I dreamed of, at the time.  We had letterpress invitations, I had a custom engagement ring that was a lot of fun to design, and our guest list fit on one page.  I was marrying someone I’d known for most of my life, and even though I felt pressured to get married to her, it felt like a natural progression of our relationship.  That is until I was met with a reality I could’ve never prepared for.  How do you stand tall with strength when the one person you never thought would unravel you has been living another life?  I don’t know how I did it, but I remember asking her to leave with a confidence I didn’t think was possible.

Here I am in my third round of wedding planning, and my wedding visions are totally different even still.  We are planning to elope.  We arrived at this decision early in our relationship.  There aren’t many details to decide on, not even invitations.  Mr. Prince Charming and I are very introverted.  We prefer to be at home with each other, and we have a very tight network of friends and family.  Each decision we’ve made has been made as a single decision rather than building a grand vision of an event.  I have a dress, we’ve picked a venue, we’ve nailed down the date, my shoes were already in my closet, Mr. PC is wearing a tux, and our guests know who they are.  Flowers, cake, photos… those things will all be managed by the venue.  I’ll get to all of that in later posts.

The point I’m making – planning a wedding is very, very personal.  The evolutionary process of making decision after decision can be A LOT for any one couple to manage.  It can be overwhelming and simultaneously underwhelming.  Then there’s comparison – the thief of all wedding joy.  But what if my wedding isn’t just perfect?!  What if no one likes my dress?  What if my engagement ring doesn’t live up to the expectations of everyone else?  What if my face breaks out the day before?

This is me saying SCREW ALL OF THAT.

In a matter of months, the man I love will hold my hand as we promise to do life together despite anything that comes our way.  Regardless of the weather, how my hair looks, who takes our pictures, and what color the flowers will be – we’ll be doing exactly what we want to do.  We’ll be committing do life as a team, and that single thing is exactly the vision I have for the rest of my life.  The day we get married will be beautiful because we get to put down in words just how we’ll do life.  We’ll do it together.

How We Began

The our story of how our relationship began is pretty boring.

There were a number of factors that were in play when we first met that were admittedly against us getting together.  Initially we decided to just be friends, and that lasted for about a day.

We knew one important thing: we had lots of feelings for one another and walking away from those feelings just wasn’t happening.

Prior to meeting Mr. Prince Charming, I’d done a number of life altering things since the decline of my previous engagement.  I changed jobs.  I bought a new car.  I dated a lot.  I spent a significant amount of time figuring myself out.  After all, walking away from an engagement that went so sourly wrong was an opportunity to step back and take a deep breath.  Up to that point in my life I’d done a lot of adult living, but never really asked myself what I wanted out of life nor who I wanted to be when I grew up.

So, when Mr. Prince Charming and I met, I knew that he was what I wanted.  Luckily for me, I was what he wanted.  Since then, neither of us has looked back.

It hasn’t been easy to take on life together – we both have some major baggage, but I can say with absolute certainty that my life is far better with him in it.

Because I know this is an interesting tidbit of info, I’ll tell you that Mr. PC and I met on Tinder.

How did you meet your spouse?  Did you know instantly that you wanted to be with them?

 

Mic check – Tiara here!

Ladies!

It’s been a few minutes since I checked in – quite a few minutes.

If you don’t know me from my past, good.  Let’s start here.

If you do know me from my past blogging experience on the bee, HI!!!  I’ve missed you!

It’s been a couple of years since I even wrote a blog post, so I’m still finding my voice again – forgive me if I seem scattered or if my writing style has devolved since my last round of storytelling.

Here’s a quick list of facts about me..

  • People call me Kari, usually
  • I reside in Kansas
  • I’m a doctoral candidate (ABD, thankyouverymuch)
  • I married a man in 2009, and later stapled a divorce decree to that marriage license
  • My blogging journey with Weddingbee began as I planned a wedding to a woman
  • I don’t identify as lesbian, bi-sexual, nor straight.  I’m just me.

I’m writing this post because I have news to share!

On July 12, 2015, my boyfriend proposed!

I’m excited to tell you about our plans, but mostly, I’m glad to be here for this part of our journey.  The bees have been a force of friendship and guidance for me for the last few years.

Cheers to a valiant resurgence!  I can’t wait to introduce you to my main man, and he may even pop in to say hello!