I haven’t left you out of my whirlwind life cycle – I’ve been around the block. This isn’t my first rodeo.
The girl I was when I planned a wedding for the first time is most definitely not the woman I am today.
My first wedding was a major production with every little detail planned to minutia. It was a beautiful celebration that left me feeling off – like I was watching my life from the outside. There were 250 invitations, a cathedral veil, a 5-tier cake, and a favor for every guest. It was all of the things that books, people, and the internet told me it should be. It was exhausting. I remember feeling defeated that day – I was surrounded by a mountain of things that just didn’t feel good. It should’ve felt good.
Fast forward three years.
Then there’s the wedding that was planned, but never realized. It was going to be the wedding I dreamed of, at the time. We had letterpress invitations, I had a custom engagement ring that was a lot of fun to design, and our guest list fit on one page. I was marrying someone I’d known for most of my life, and even though I felt pressured to get married to her, it felt like a natural progression of our relationship. That is until I was met with a reality I could’ve never prepared for. How do you stand tall with strength when the one person you never thought would unravel you has been living another life? I don’t know how I did it, but I remember asking her to leave with a confidence I didn’t think was possible.
Here I am in my third round of wedding planning, and my wedding visions are totally different even still. We are planning to elope. We arrived at this decision early in our relationship. There aren’t many details to decide on, not even invitations. Mr. Prince Charming and I are very introverted. We prefer to be at home with each other, and we have a very tight network of friends and family. Each decision we’ve made has been made as a single decision rather than building a grand vision of an event. I have a dress, we’ve picked a venue, we’ve nailed down the date, my shoes were already in my closet, Mr. PC is wearing a tux, and our guests know who they are. Flowers, cake, photos… those things will all be managed by the venue. I’ll get to all of that in later posts.
The point I’m making – planning a wedding is very, very personal. The evolutionary process of making decision after decision can be A LOT for any one couple to manage. It can be overwhelming and simultaneously underwhelming. Then there’s comparison – the thief of all wedding joy. But what if my wedding isn’t just perfect?! What if no one likes my dress? What if my engagement ring doesn’t live up to the expectations of everyone else? What if my face breaks out the day before?
This is me saying SCREW ALL OF THAT.
In a matter of months, the man I love will hold my hand as we promise to do life together despite anything that comes our way. Regardless of the weather, how my hair looks, who takes our pictures, and what color the flowers will be – we’ll be doing exactly what we want to do. We’ll be committing do life as a team, and that single thing is exactly the vision I have for the rest of my life. The day we get married will be beautiful because we get to put down in words just how we’ll do life. We’ll do it together.
strangely forward 